Translation from MSNBC to Bush-speak

From today's "breaking news" screens during the Bush/Karzai press conference, here's what was on the screen, and what Bush actually meant:

MSNBC: "Bush to de-classify portions of the NIE"

Bush: "But only the portions that support my side of the argument. The rest of that stuff that contradicts me, that jeopardizes national security you know."

MSNBC: "Bush: results of NIE leaked for political purposes"

Bush: "See, what I do is I attack the credibility of the source. You know, accuse them of being 'political operatives'. That way I don't actually have to answer the question of whether the leaked information was true or not."

MSNBC: "Bush: If we weren't in Iraq, terrorists would have come up with another excuse"

Bush: "You're gonna say bad things about my war, I'm gonna take my ball and go home."

(Editorial note: This is completely and totally insane. I thought the whole idea of the war was to reduce terrorism. Now we're saying that terrorism would have increased regardless of whether we were in Iraq? So what the hell was the point of the war? Seriously, is anyone paying attention in these press conferences?)

MSNBC: "Heh heh heh"

Bush: "Heh heh heh." (Some things need no translation.)

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