Letter to Bob Gates, Defense Secretary

Dear Bob,

Hats off to the DoD!

I am sorry I haven't written you in a while. Also, I am sorry I haven't blogged lately about how I think the DoD is doing a fantastic job of fighting the war. The determination, the hard work, the dedication... simply unprecedented. No, silly, I am not talking of the war in Iraq; that one's in the shitter.

I talk of a larger war, the one we are commanded to fight by an authority higher than even our Commander-in-Chief. It's the war on homos.

Homos pose a much larger risk to us than a few thousand terrorists in Iraq or Afghanistan. Who cares about an IED here or a grenade there, when we have homos being all ... homo-ish with each other. Ewww!

So, go ahead and fire every one of them gays from the military. Even if it is an Arab linguist. Who needs them anyway? Especially, when we can hire God-fearing felons.

Love,

Ritchie

PS: You might want to send Dick a card expressing your condolences. I just heard his homo daughter had a baby. Now they are all going to hell for sure!