EARTH SHATTERING BREAKING NEWS: O'Reilly & Olbermann to wed in private ceremony

In what can only be described as a shocking announcement, Keith Olbermann, host of MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann, will be traveling to Boston today to wed longtime secret companion Bill O'Reilly, headman on The O'Reilly Factor.

News of this encounter surprised friends, family, and fans, as the two appeared to be bitter rivals on their shows. But it turns out that each was throwing barbs at the other to keep their love a secret.

"Ever since I saw BillO (his pet name for O'Reilly) back at the Yankees/Mets series back in 2004, I knew the two of us were meant to be together", stated Olbermann. "Sure I'm a Yankees fan and he's a Mets fan, and I run a respectable news show while he just yells at people for the heck of it, but I think it's the differences that make us a stronger couple."

The two will wed in Massachusetts, one of the few states to recognize gay marriages. This will be the first marriage for both.

Asked to comment, O'Reilly repeatedly screamed, "Shut up!".

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