The Mental State Of The Union...

Imagine if you will a man who believes that every word from the president's mouth is true and sincere. Imagine a man who believes that the president is competent and just in his actions. Imagine that this man believes that anyone with a differing opinion is, "un-American" and, "un-Patriotic". And, imagine if you will, a town that has a newspaper that will print any nonsense that spews from a conservative's mouth. No, you haven't entered, "The Twilight Zone", you have entered my office (queue that music that goes something like, "Dee doo dee doo..." you know what I'm talking about).


It was a typical morning in the office. I arrive at my usual time - 30 minutes late. I grab a cup of coffee and check my email. One particular email catches my eye. Subject line: FYI. I open it, anticipating some useful information and this is what I see:

"The Enquirer wrote me requesting an article (due to my past letters to the editor submissions) concerning the Presidential State of the Union Address. The subject was, "What would you like to hear the President say in the State of the Union Address?"
My letter was published in the enquirer.com. It is the 4th one down...
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060129/EDIT0202/601290311/-1/all"

I knew what to expect. Here is a man with conservative views. We debate the issues of the day on a daily basis. It can't be any worse than what I hear every day right? Well, yea, right, but when he tells us those things are work, we think that he has to be kidding - I mean, no one really believes that, do they?

So, in a typical work day fashion, I would like to address what he says in his letter in the same manner that we (meaning me and the other Dem) would at work. Make sure to read the article first, just so you know what I'm talking about and remember - this is exactly how it would play out at work.

I would like the president to counter some of the meritless accusations and rhetoric that have affected his popularity.

You mean the same popularity that he had in 2000 when he won the popular vote? What was it? Something like Gore: 50,999,897, Bush: 50,456,002?

I am a person of principle, which means that I will do what I feel is right, regardless of how it is perceived or portrayed

He is a person of principle like a lemming is a free thinker. Doing what feels right means coming back from lunch and repeating Rush's talking points to us and when we question him on Rush's sources, he gets angry.

Sometimes, that means my decisions or actions, though meant in the best interest of all, may be unpopular.

Best interest of all? Tell me again what your view is on welfare, social security, and health care. Now what were your views on global warming, gun control, and unions? Best interest for all which means best interest in what he's interested in.

He turned around the failing economy he inherited from Clinton-Gore with tax cuts for everybody, and it was portrayed that he was giving "tax cuts for the rich."

Ah yes, I remember President Clinton's economic policy well (sigh). Because of their investment in technology, my salary doubled in less than a year. Damn you Bill Clinton! Yep, Bush gave tax cuts to everybody (everybody that is considered the wealthiest 1%). And it has done miracles for the economy. And he's right, those tax cuts do affect everyone.

He has prevented another successful terrorist attack on U.S. soil by taking the fight to the would-be terrorists overseas.

He could have prevented the first successful attack if he took the time just to read the title of his PDB. Would-be terrorists? As in Iraq would-be terrorists if we attack them? Can you tell me again who committed the attack on the World Trade Center? Iraq? Osama bin Laden? Right, now where is he? Is the president looking for him?

He exercised his power to allow our counterterrorism investigators to listen to international al-Qaida phone calls to stop future terror attacks, and it was called "spying on average citizens."

I asked him if he knew what the FISA was. Yep, you guessed it, he said no. And he is of the mind that you shouldn't be worried if you have done no wrong. That's right, but just mention taking away his gun.

If people hear lies enough, they start to believe some of them.

Very true and you're a shining example.

I would like the Bush administration to be more responsive to some of these wildly inflammatory and sometimes downright idiotic charges.

This brought a tear to my eye because I believe that he was directing this comment at me and my cohort. I feel special. Please, give me a moment.

So, there you have it. A few minutes of Fox And Friends in the morning, Rush at lunch, and some Hannity at dinner time and you too can be a walking billboard for lunacy.

This has been another episode of, "The Twilight Zone". You can go back to your normal life but I have to live it again tomorrow.