10. No lifetime limits on coverage, so grab an extra Big Mac.
9. Illegal immigrants will still clog ER's, but you'll avoid them with preventative care.
8. Your kids will now be covered on your policy up until age 26, even if they don't live in your basement.
7. Keep riding your chopper without a helmet...you're now covered. But you're still idiots.
6. That repetitive motion injury from flag-waving? Covered.
5. You can now spend your time on 9/11 conspiracy theories instead of worrying about medical bankruptcy.
4. You don't have to show a Kenyan birth certificate to get insured.
3. The law is 100% death panel free. Except for the death of freedom. Forgot that one.
2. Being tread on is now covered.
1. Stupidity no longer a preexisting condition.