"Just the other day I went to County General because my legs were giving me awful pains, and this nurse started asking me questions about providers, and what was my health care plan, and wanting my insurance card so she could copy it. I said, 'Miss, I don’t need all that fancy paperwork – not as long as I have Jesus in my heart'.This would be ridiculous, were it not for the fact that senator Coburn has explicitly stated that he believes the most important aspect of the health care debate that hasn't been discussed is "...us as neighbors helping people that need our help". And really, who's a better neighbor, or a better friend, to the God-fearing faithful than Jesus? So his constituents just decide to go without health insurance, because they believe that the Lord will take care of them. Not a very wise health care policy from where I'm standing.
No matter what sort of hardships and illnesses life throws my way, I always count on the Lord to oversee my managed care. So I told that nurse to send my bills right up to heaven. Send them right on up, because Jesus is my preferred provider, and He always grants me full coverage. After all, Jesus believed in healing the sick and helping the poor, so He most definitely believes in paying my doctor bills on time.
The Son of God doesn’t screen for pre-existing conditions, and the only requirement for coverage is that you accept Him into your life. There is no deductible with the Lord, and every doctor, clinic, and hospital is in His network. As long as I get down on my knees and submit my claims every night, Jesus will accept them. Even though Peter denied Him three times in a single night, He never denies me, no matter how many ovarian cysts and respiratory infections I might develop."
Ok, I should really come clean on something. The statement from Coburn is accurate (as well as his follow-up that "[t]he idea that the government is the solution to our problems is an inaccurate statement.") But the story above didn't occur at one of the town halls. It's a story I pulled from my page-a-day calendar, produced by...wait for it...The Onion.
The fact that an article from The Onion can be read as almost plausible just shows how far off the rails this debate on health care has gotten. Put me before the death panel and shoot me now.