9 additional pieces of "analysis" about Sarah Palin's resignation

Mark Halperin over at Time's The Page lists the 9 takes on Sarah Palin's resignation that he deems to be "flat out totally wrong". Some of them are totally contradictory (i.e. this means she can't run for president vs. this means she is definitely running for president), but Halperin explains away these differences by...well he doesn't explain them. He just says they're wrong, and because he's Washington insider Mark Halperin, by definition they must be wrong.

Since no justification is needed to make up a list like this, I figured I would also expose nine additional analyses that are factually incorrect:

  1. Governing got in the way of her bi-annual moose hunting trips.

  2. She wanted to watch the Wimbledon finals today in peace.

  3. Resigning will make it easier for her to continue her bi-coastal affair with David Letterman.

  4. Rudy Giuliani reminded her that she can't be president because she had no direct involvement with 9/11.

  5. She needs more time to shop on Amazon for a quality telescope to see Russia with.

  6. Her fantasy football team, the Wasilla Leaking Amnio Fluids, is defending its league title, and studying for the draft takes top priority.

  7. She wants to give herself some time and space to get over the death of Billy Mays.

  8. She wants to spend more time with Bristol to make sure she doesn't go hiking on the Appalachian Trail any time soon.

  9. Oprah wants her to host her newest talk show venture, titled You Betcha!

1 comment:

Rev. Ritchie Blackmore said...

That's fuckin' hilarious, AB!