I got a gut feeling, and it's about to come up all over your gut feeling

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, or as I like to call him "a poor man's Brownie", has warned Americans that there is an increased risk of a terrorist attack this summer.

Has the terror alert been raised from yellow to orange? Well, not so much. But there's evidence of increased terrorist chatter, right? Again, not exactly. So what is this warning based on? Chertoff's gut feeling!

Let me restate that, because it really has to be repeated to be absorbed. Our Homeland Security Secretary is warning us that we're in greater danger this summer because his gut tells him so, despite the fact that "he has no credible evidence to base this on" (fans of the show South Park may also remember that this is the same exact rationale that the Surgeon General used to explain his belief that it was healthier to consume food by jamming it through your ass and pooping through your mouth.)

Hey Chertie, you know when a good time to have a gut feeling would have been? WHEN NEW ORLEANS WAS BEING DECIMATED BY A FUCKING HURRICANE!!!