The CCV Took My Porno Away

In a transparent attempt to detract attention from recent news that its offshoot group, Equal Rights Not Special Rights (ERNSR) forged signatures on a petition to overturn Cincinnati's anti-discrimination law, the Citizens for Community Values (CCV) have announced a new crusade: to coerce hotels nationwide to stop offering porn.

A few years ago, the CCV was successful in pressuring hotels in Northern Kentucky and Ohio to cease broadcasting the immoral misdeeds of Jenna Jameson and her pulchritudinous ilk, lest children might "accidentally" stumble upon Barely Legal while channel surfing for the latest episode of High School Musical. Nevermind the fact that kids would have to "accidentally" borrow their parents' credit card to "accidentally" order the movie--the CCV somehow convinced the hotel owners that Jenna would burst out of the TV set like Samara from The Ring movies and turn them into porn addicts (like the CCV's leader, Phil Burress).

Personally, I look forward to watching the CCV's latest crusade to curtail the personal liberties of others crash and burn miserably. Phil doesn't strike me as a PBS viewer; were he one, he would have seen Frontline's American Porn, which showed how hotels and other mainstream corporations are earning huge money shots from the porn industry. While conservative areas like Northern Kentucky and Cincinnati may be susceptible to his snake oil, I highly doubt that major hotels in bigger cities will buy what he's peddling.

Phil also doesn't strike me someone who owns a laptop, portable DVD player, cell phone or video iPod--all devices that guests can use to view porn in the privacy of their hotel rooms in lieu of a ban.

So, sports fans, here's my prediction of the outcome of CCV vs. Jenna: CCV, 0, Jenna, XXX.