It Has A Beat, But Can You Dance To It?

After last week’s marathon of debunking the so-called, “Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs,” I decided to take it upon myself to put together my own personal selection of top conservative songs. These songs are either inspired by, or sung by some of our top conservative idiots. I narrowed it down to 5, so let’s get started – countdown style!

#5 “Bush Was Right”, The Right Brothers

This song, no doubt was written to help catapult the propaganda. A very, very awful attempt at creating mainstream music, The Right Brothers try to force themselves in pop culture. A sad attempt which didn’t work.

#4 “Climb Inside His Loving Arms”, Orrin Hatch

The Republican Senator from Utah sings? I didn’t know that until yesterday when I found that Senator Hatch pulled some strings to help get a music producer out of a Dubai jail. The producer was arrested for possession of cocaine. I’m sure that all of the songs on Senator Hatch’s CD are great but I decided to go with, “Climb Inside His Loving Arms,” because I’m sure he is talking about the president’s arms. And that’s what you call a, “mandate.”

#3 “The Unknown”, Bryant Kong and Elender Wall

From the CD, “The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld,” Kong, the pianist and Wall, the singer take classic snippets from our favorite incompetent secretary of defense and put it to music. It’s not as painful when set to music.

#2 “A Series Of Tubes”, DJ Ted Stevens Techno Remix

This was just recently released and has already climbed to #2 on my conservative chart! This does have a beat and I’m sure that I could dance to it if I was inclined to do so. Based on comments that Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) made during a debate on net neutrality, the creative people at boldheaded.com set it to music. Take a listen – you will not be disappointed.

#1 “Let The Eagle Soar”, John Ashcroft

Holding steady at number one is that all familiar drone of former Attorney General, John Ashcroft. This will be the anthem of false patriotism and arrogance for years to come.