How I spent my HOLIDAY vacation…by request

Most people complain that their families are dysfunctional. Well, I’m living proof that a very functional family can be frustrating and depressing. I also now realize that those sometimes funny, but always sad movies about holidays with the family are most certainly based in someone’s truth.

Cast of Characters:
Dad – my dad
Lisa – my step-mom
Angie – 35-year old sister who lives in San Francisco
Annie – 19-year old sister who attends Anderson Christian College in Indiana
Laura – 18-year old sister who is a senior at Lakota East
Katie – 16-year old sister who is a sophomore at Lakota East

Thursday& Friday
My holiday weekend started off nice enough with my Drinking Liberally buddies at Cheryl & John’s house. I had to control myself as I was supposed to be at the mall to meet my four sisters at 9:00 the next morning and I didn’t want to be the bitchy hung-over sister. After dragging myself out of bed at 7:30, in order to drop my car off at the dealership for a repair, I stopped to pick up coffee and set the cup in cup holder in the center console of my car. I screeched into the Mazda dealership at 8:30, precisely the time I was supposed to meet my aunt there. She was already waiting for me. I pulled into the garage and as I was retrieving my cup and noticed that it was empty – something in the console had punctured the bottom of it and 16 ounces of coffee were now in my console – Angie called to let us know that the rest of the gang would be 30 minutes late. When I tried to explain that we were already on our way and that being that late was a little rude, she said, “Well, we’re still in our pajamas so deal with it.” They ended up at the mall at 9:45 – 45 minutes late. Shoulda stayed at the party for one more drink…

I made it home Friday night to sleep cozy and comfy in my bed with my cat. Very nice, except that when I woke up, I was feeling a little cold. Went downstairs to the thermostat, sure enough it said 50 degrees. Apparently, I really did blow through $800 of heating oil in just under eight weeks. I called every oil company in town, Tuesday was the soonest anyone could be out. Great, four days with no heat.

I managed to have a good breakfast with friends on Saturday morning but had to rush to Christmas Eve dinner as we were supposed to be at Grandma’s at 1:00, for dinner at 2:00. Once again, I screeched into my destination barely on-time (2:00), only to realize that I was the only one there. Everyone else showed up at 3:00. Thanks, family. Love the continued punctuality.

My favorite conversations of the day when something like this…

Annie: “Hey Mom, what would you do if I had a secret fiancé and I told you I was getting married?”
Lisa: “Yea! Grandbabies!”
Christy: “She’s 19 and a freshman in college with a 4.0.”
Lisa: “ I really can’t wait for grandbabies!”

Another conversation:
Annie: “Mom, I really can’t decide if I like David.”
Lisa: “Do you see yourself marrying him?”
Annie: “No.”
Lisa: “Don’t waste your time then.”
Christy: “She’s 19! Does she really need to find her husband right now?”
Lisa: “I always said that if I wasn’t going to marry them, there is no reason to get to know them.”

Another conversation:
Annie: “I can’t wait to get out of school and get married and move back to West Chester.”
Laura: “Me, too.”
Katie: “Me, too.”
Christy: “Don’t you guys want to explore, maybe see what else is out there?”
Annie: “No, I really just want to be where I already know everything and don’t have to learn new streets or stores or anything.”
Christy: “Wow…not quite sure what to do with that.”

Woke up at Dad’s with the girls and had a nice family Christmas morning and played games. All good. Lisa was a little upset with Angie and me for not joining the family at church, but what-ev (new word I learned from Annie).

The schedule for the day was supposed to be Grandma’s at 2:00, Dad’s at 5:00 for dinner and cousin’s at 8:00. Thanks to my perpetually late family, we managed Grandma’s at 3:00, Dad’s at 6:00 and cousin’s at 9:30. I did make it home to sleep in my very cold house with my very cold cat.

The schedule was supposed to be meet Aunt Myra at 11:30 for lunch, back to Dad’s around 1:00, drop Angie off at her friend’s house to drive back to Chicago at 3:00. We managed lunch at 11:40, Dad’s around 2:00 and dropped her off at her friend’s house at 3:20. Somehow, I seemed to be the only person this whole weekend who even noticed that we were late for every single event/time/meal for which we were scheduled.

The other new word I learned this weekend is “Emo.” Apparently this is the next sort of cool, sort of scary type of person, as “Goth” is so “last year.” Emo are people who are very emotional. This can be anything from kids who claim to be abused (who are actually probably the rich kids who are ignored by their parents), to boys who write really sad songs about being dumped, to people who cut themselves…yes, cut themselves. Now my sisters are far too emotionally well-grounded for this but they all know someone who has scars on their arms and legs from cutting themselves. Also, Katie told me of a website that teaches you how to be anorexic. Just a warning to anyone who plans to raise children and eventually teenagers. Good luck.

Overall, I suppose I cannot complain too much as I am blessed by someone (or something) with a sweet family who loves me and takes care of each other. Fortunately for me though, Christmas only comes once a year. And it was really nice to be back on Tuesday with the most normal people I know, the gang from DL. Thanks, all.


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