Take It Easy

Dear President Obama,

First of all, it feels good to say that. Secondly, dude what are you doing? You need to pace yourself. After 8 long years, the American people aren’t used to this kind of progress. Heck, it’s enough to throw Rush over the edge. He may double his dose of Oxycontin and Viagra at this rate.

I know that there are a lot of Bush administration policies that need to be reversed, but you haven’t even been on the job for a week. Closing Gitmo and secret prisons are all great things and I’m not complaining but at this rate you will finish your first term goals by the end of February.

And then there is all of this talk about bringing science back. Stem cell research and stopping global warming are all great things and need to be done, but how are you going accomplish all of those goals on antiquated technology? Heck, those computers probably haven’t seen an upgrade since the Clinton years.

Plus, you are making me look bad in my job by raising the bar on what can be accomplished. I am going to have to cut out all of this blogging stuff just to keep pace with you.

Thanks for listening. Try to take it easy tonight. Maybe watch a movie or take a vacation day (your predecessor was REALLY good at that). You know, take your mind off of work – it’s been a long week.

Yours truly,

P.S. After tearing down the prison at Guantanamo Bay, have you thought about making it a resort? I have always wanted to see Cuba and that would really change the meaning of the place in everyone’s mind. I have a great slogan too, “Don’t torture yourself, come to Gitmo!”


Anonymous said...

P.S. President Obama,
Feel free to let the gitmo terrorists go in Cincinnati. I'm sure they'll see the error of their ways.

doug said...


At this rate, the economy should be fixed by 2pm... That will leave time for peace in the Middle East to commence at 4pm.